Wanna vote pro-life next week?

Michigan Right to Life has endorsed candidates in the coming election from the top of the ballot to the bottom. You can find their endorsements, broken down by congressional district, here. I always print the list for my district and take it with me right into the polling place.

Vegas, Baby. Vegas.

Just got back from Naj's big diarrhea party in Las Vegas.

Here I am chilling with my Doggs on the strip. Notice the short sleeves in late October, even at night. Ding! (And of course the Starbuck's cup is never far from my Lyrical reach)

Here's me and my chicka kicking it. What do you guys think of my new military hairdo?

Here she is with her poster discussing the benefits and disadvantages of diahrea. She ultimately came out against it. Sure looks hot in that suit, though.

Hiking at Red Rock Canyon in the desert just a few minutes from the strip. This was my favorite part of the trip.

Raw milk operation continues

Apparently the raw milk hippies are back in business. According to this story in the Ann Arbor News, Richard Hebron is still selling unpasteurized milk to co-op members ($6.25 per gallon for boarding of cows and transferring the milk to it's "rightful owners"). But instead of bringing it to the store where I went to pick it up this summer, he's taking it to a farm near Ann Arbor and selling it out of a barn.

"Richard Hebron pulled his food-filled truck up to a barn in Lodi Township and got back to business Friday - two weeks after the state Department of Agriculture confiscated a load of his food worth $7,000.

Hebron - whose cell phone, computer and home files also were seized - said he was pleased to have some money coming in again after his involuntary hiatus.

In turn, members of the Family Foods Cooperative said they were happy to make the bumpy, muddy trek to the country to buy the food they swear by.

'The milk, meat and eggs are of exceptional quality, so we've been very pleased,' said Susan Gavrilides, of Ypsilanti, who said her family is much healthier since switching to nonpasteurized milk a year ago."

We also hear from Mary Greiner, a local family practice doctor who drinks raw milk herself and recommends it to her patients. "Raw, or unpasteurized milk, is a superior product,'' she said. "I think unpasteurized milk should be legalized and available in stores."

The most important aspect of the story, however, is the status of the criminal investigation and whether or not The Lyrical Gangster is likely to get caught up in the dragnet. The news is not good.

"No charges have been filed, but MDA spokeswoman Jennifer Quimby said the investigation has expanded beyond Michigan. She said she couldn't provide many details. 'I can just tell you that we are working cooperatively with other states and federal agencies in reviewing the evidence,'' she said." Crap.

More raw milk news

The comments section is especially hot these days. You guys really ought to check them regularly. One item that simply had to be brought to the forefront is this, from one of the other cow share operators in Michigan. Notice our friendly farmer does not identify him or herself. Probably trying to keep a low profile considering all the heat on these guys lately. Anyway, here is the full comment:

"Milk does not come from the belly of a cow. It comes from the udder of the cow. And as one of 4 other cow share operators in the state ,I am not a "goofy" farmer but a wise farmer who serves other well respected people of this state. If you were ever to see my customer list, you would wonder what these people knew that you didn't know about milk. It a wierd world that we live in. It would be easier for us to produce liquor than it is raw milk. And we could even sell that too - instead of the crop that it came from. In other states it's perfectly fine to buy raw milk. Hopefully, Cheeseburger can find another source for her milk soon."

OK. My "goofy" comment was probably a little over the top. I guess. But do we really have to get into the anatomical discussion about which part of the cow the milk comes from. Belly is a pretty generic term anyway. And I'm no raw milk farmer or anything, but where do you suppose the udder is located?

I wonder if our anonymous farmer is trying to get Cheeseburger as a new customer. Incindentally, she told me today that now that her source has, um, dried up, she has gotten on a WAITING LIST for GOAT'S MILK from Lapeer. Raw goat's milk, natch. So if she's selected she'll be buying a share of a goat to go along with her fractional ownership of a soon to be indicted cow. Some people collect baseball cards.

Cheeseburger unveiled

A west coast reader had inquired into whether or not Cheeseburger is single and whether or not I have a picture of her. I always aim to please. First, yes, she is single. And second, here is the picture. It's kind of an old picture, but I thought it was appropriate considering she is engaged in her favorite activity.

Despite Universities efforts, black enrollment at UM is down

To say the University of Michigan is aggressive in its efforts to recruit black students would be a monumental understatement. Aside from the University's famed victory at the Supreme Court, apparently the University President is personally visiting black churches to recruit black students. But for some reason it isn't working.

From the Ann Arbor News:

"The University of Michigan this fall has the highest enrollment in its history, but one group of students that the university is working to increase - black students entering with the freshman class - has declined. The fall freshman class of 5,339 includes 330 black students - the fewest in nearly a decade. Black freshmen make up 6.4 percent of the class, down from 7.5 percent last year... Because [the] university wanted its freshman class to be smaller, it offered admission to fewer students. But part of that equation this year is alarming to U-M officials because fewer black students applied while the applications from all other students went up. Applications from black students dropped by 5 percent. Overall, applications were up 8 percent to 25,806, just short of a record set in 2003."

I've never been a big fan of the government treating people differently based on the color of their skin. And my own personal anecdotal experience seems to suggest that race-based affirmative action programs don't help the downtrodden, but often give wealthy black students who are on the bubble academically an unfair advantage over other students similarly situated. On November 2, Michigan residents will vote on whether or not to effectively outlaw affirmative action in the state. Interesting that it seems to be taking care of itself somewhat here at U of M.

On how I got caught up in a sophisticated criminal enterprise

Today's Ann Arbor News arrives with this story about local police taking down a criminal conspiracy right here in Ann Arbor. And it turns out I might be involved.

See, there's this goofy girl I work with who shall remain nameless - though I will tell you her gang name is Cheeseburger - who is a health food fanatic. When I say health food, I'm sure most of you are thinking fruits and vegetables, salad as the main course, maybe a little vegetarian, whatever. That's not what I'm talking about. Cheeseburger buys all her groceries on the Internet. All-organic is the minimum, including sun tan lotion. As far as I can tell, she has never eaten anything I have ever heard of or can even pronounce. She's out there, frankly. Which is fine... until The Lyrical Gangster gets drug into it. Which is exactly what happened about a month ago.

She came to me frantically one Friday morning with a very strange and urgent request. She had a two-hour window to pick up two gallons of milk on the other side of town or she would lose her monthly dairy supply. She couldn't get away from work and asked me if I would go on my lunch hour and help her out. This is where it gets weird.

It seems Cheeseburger actually owns part of a cow. She had signed up for a cow share program where she basically bought a fraction of a cow, sort of like a time share condo arrangement. This gives her the right to legally purchase non-pastuerized milk, otherwise known as raw milk. I am not making this up. Apparently in Cheeseburger's world, when dairies pasteurize their milk so it doesn't kill you this is a bad thing because the corporate conglomerate, Bush Administration blah blah blah is engaged in this big conspiracy to take all the health benefits out of the milk we drink. Of course drinking non-pasteurized milk can be very dangerous, which is why it is illegal to sell it in Michigan. The only people who can even drink it are people who own and board their own cows. Thus is born the cow share program.

These goofy farmers take their milk directly from the cow, skip the pastuerization, put it in jugs and bring it to Ann Arbor once a month where the hippies who "own" part of the cow line up to buy it. And Cheeseburger couldn't make it to the other side of town to pick it up. So she asked me to go and, after some negotiation, I agreed.

When I arrived at the wine and cheese shop she had directed me to I didn't notice any customers at all, especially not a huge line of raw milk drinking hippies. I walked over to the lady behind the counter and told her I was here to pick up some milk. She gave me a knowing look and told me to follow her. She took me into the store's backroom and then down these rickety stairs into a shady looking basement. And there they were. A huge line of Kerry-supporting, long haired 60's holdouts waiting to buy milk that only hours ago was being drained from the belly of a cow. It was like some Prohibition era speakeasy. You wouldn't guess from the outside what was going on and only those select few who knew the secret were allowed in.

I waited forever, found Cheeseburger's order form (placed, as required, a couple days in advance), paid an outrageous price and left with my two gallons of milk. Other than the weirdness, I hadn't really thought about it much until today when the whole system was busted by the Michigan Department of Agriculture and the state police.

Here's a portion of the story from the Ann Arbor News:

"Every Friday morning, about 100 people show up at the Morgan & York wine and specialty shop on Packard Street to pick up their weekly orders of raw, unpasteurized milk as well as eggs, chickens, honey and other naturally grown food delivered straight from three Michigan farms.

But last week, the members of a local food co-op waited in vain - the delivery truck never arrived. En route to Ann Arbor, poultry and beef farmer Richard Hebron of Vandalia was stopped by state police troopers, who seized his load of goods under a search warrant obtained by the Michigan Department of Agriculture.

The MDA says it is investigating possible violations of the state's food and dairy laws, including the selling of unpasteurized milk, in Washtenaw County and Cass County, where Hebron lives...

Authorities seized 450 gallons of Hebron's raw milk, as well as fresh cream, kefir, buttermilk, yogurt, butter, all the milk coolers, invoices for that day's distribution and his cell phone, Hebron said.

Attorney Peter Kennedy of Weston A. Price Foundation in Sarasota, Fla., who is acting as an adviser to Hebron, said the investigation was touched off last April when a Washtenaw County woman's three children became sick. She told her doctor she thought they'd become sick from pasteurized milk, but added that she also bought raw milk from the co-op.

That doctor followed up with the county health department, which passed the information on to the MDA, Kennedy said. The MDA began a sting operation. An agent joined the co-op and bought raw milk from Hebron from May through October. The milk was tested, and found to be fine, Kennedy said."

To make a long story short, the cops and the state are accusing the farmers of selling unmarked or mislabeled goods.

I'm not sure Cheeseburger even knows about the bust, but her fellow hippies are enraged.

"For two years, co-op member Diane Thal Gluck of Ann Arbor has bought everything she can from Hebron, right down to bones for the family dog. She's convinced that raw, unpasteurized and unhomogenized milk is superior, and feels better getting her milk from cattle that are not given hormones. 'I'm outraged this is what the Department of Agriculture chooses to do with our (tax) money,' Thal Gluck said. She said she believes the state's laws should be changed to allow for the sale of raw milk. 'It seemed that extraordinary, almost odd measures were taken against someone trying to sell a healthy product,' her husband, Peter Gluck, said. 'You can investigate, but to attempt to put a farmer out of business is a little beyond investigation. It's intimidation. We understand the issues, but this is a little harsh...'"

The farmer has sent an e-mail to his customers (I'll try to get a copy) saying he will be back at the Ann Arbor store to sell his goods tomorrow. You can bet I won't be standing in line this time.

Reader e-mail

Cheeseburger responds:

"Hey,
I’m happy to see you too. you just bum-rushed me with this whole raw milk thing this morning and I had 87 emails and 6 voice messages, one of which was michelle telling me to call her as soon as I got in. just a bit overwhelming.

Cannot believe you put me on the blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You’re lucky you did not put my name on there.

The way I see it, here is the most important part of the story and people should stop freaking out.

"That doctor followed up with the county health department, which passed the information on to the MDA, Kennedy said. The MDA began a sting operation. An agent joined the co-op and bought raw milk from Hebron from May through October. The milk was tested, and found to be fine, Kennedy said."

Pasteurization only came about in the ‘30’s or 40’s. what do people think human beings have done for THOUSANDS of years?"

Editor's note: Please listen to Cheeseburger. She is a wise health sage.

The accused speaks

Here's the full text of the e-mail from Richard Hebron, who was busted with the illicit milk. Mr. Hebron sent this message to his, um, supporters, including Cheeseburger, who sent it along to me.

"Dear Family Farms Coop Customer,
We are sending out this e-mail with the help of our customers to inform you of the events of 10/13/06.

I was on my way to our buyer’s club in Ann Arbor Michigan on Friday, 10/13/06 when I was pulled over by the state police just out side of Ann Arbor. I was served with a search warrant for the delivery truck by Mike Yuhuz from the Michigan State Agricultural Department. At this time they seized 450 gallons of raw milk, 29 quarts of fresh cream, 11 quarts of kefir, 4 quarts of buttermilk, 9 quarts of yogurt, and 29 pounds of butter, my cell phone, all of our milk coolers, and invoices for that day’s distributions. They refused me any calls to distribution location to inform our customers of my delay or Annette. When I asked why they were doing this, Mike Yuhuz’s reply was “You are distributing unmarked products.” After they realized they couldn’t haul all the seized products in their minivan, Mike Yuhuz gave me the option of reloading my truck and hauling products to Lansing for them or seizing my truck and products and leave me responsible for my own way home. I agreed to take the products to Lansing for them if they would release my truck to me to drive home.

I was released from East Lansing at 2:30 p.m. to return home only to find at the same time that same morning Annette was served with a warrant and our property at which time they seized our computer (NOTE: we still do not have our computer or email!!) all cow share records, cow herd release agreements, rolodex, invoices, current order sheets, products sheets, delivery schedules, and all raw dairy products in storage on the farm. Upon reading the warrant at home, I found that a customer of ours at the Ann Arbor location was a Michigan Department of Agriculture agent who had signed a cow share contract in early May after he tried to purchase milk the week before without a cow share contract. He made 10 purchases of various products between May and October 2006. It was noted in the warrant the milk was tested to be and proven to be raw milk of very high quality by the Michigan Department of Agriculture on more than one occasion. At this time, there are no charges pending investigation. I have been in contact with Peter Kennedy, attorney for the Weston A. Price Foundation, and Aajonus Vonderplanitz, an attorney who orginally set up our cow share program.

On Friday, 10/20/06, we will make delivery to Morgan & York in Ann Arbor at the regular time, then go on to Birmingham Unitarian Church for delivery at the regular time with meat and egg products. At this time, the only way to order is by our home phone, 269-476-8883. Regarding Chicago area deliveries, we hope to make a delivery of all products 10/23/06 to scheduled locations at scheduled times. As for this Monday, 10/16, we will be at scheduled locations at scheduled times with as many products as possible. We don’t have any current orders for what was seized on Friday.
Call the home number for orders 269-476-8883. Annette and I thank you all for your support and prayers over the past two days. We look forward to serving all of you again soon. Richard and Annette Hebron and family.
The officials with the Michigan Department of Agriculture who searched and seized both property from our truck and property from our home are listed below with phone and fax numbers.
Terrance Philibec, Dairy Supervisor, MDA, direct phone: 616-356-0600; fax: 616-356-0622
Mike Yuhuz, Elizabeth Hunt, MDA agents: 989-757-7501
We will very soon send another email with suggestions for action you can take, especially with contacts and testimonials to Michigan State representatives who are willing to help us right now. Please stay tuned.”

Banned: The rally towel

OK, maybe not banned, but I was pleased to see the Tigers announced today they will stop giving away those stupid rally towels that people were twirling during the league championship series.

Here's my thing with rally towels. They were pretty cool the first time or first few times. I still remember when Minnesota Twins fans used them in the early 90's and the whole stadium was this sea of white. But now they're such a cliche. It's like an official announcement goes out that your team is moving through the playoffs and might be pretty good so we better get a bunch of these stupid towels so fans can waive them when they're too bored to pay attention to THE WORLD SERIES!!!

I mean if ever there was a special team, it's this year's Tigers. So why are we borrowing everyone's else's stupid towel thing. I say goodbye and good riddence.

Starbucks trivia

Who was the starting pitcher the last time the Tigers won the World Series?

Answer

Go Blue

I'm still a little too emotional to discuss the fact that the Tigers are in the World Series (sorry, more on this later), but did you guys see that Michigan is quietly undefeated and number 2 in the nation? I'd really hate to be Ohio State. I mean I would always hate to be Ohio State, but especially now. They're done.

P.S. World Series tickets go on sale tomorrow at 10 a.m. Anybody wanna buy me some?

Snow

It's been cooling off quite a bit here in Ann Arbor the last few weeks. You can definitely tell winter is coming, slowly. But today was a tough milestone in the annual march toward winter. When I left for work this morning I noticed an alarming thing. As the garage door opened I saw a very light snow flying through the air.

At first I wasn't sure, or maybe I didn't want to admit it, but as I backed out and looked through the windshield it was unmistakable and undeniable. Like I said, I knew it was coming. I'm just not sure I'm ready. I mean, the Tigers are still playing baseball for Pete's sake.

To be honest, snow itself doesn't bother me. A lot of people talk about how much they hate snow, but I think what they're really saying is they hate winter and snow is the most obvious indicator of winter. I've always thought snow is pretty. And not only that, it seems to me that it doesn't snow when it is super cold, so snow can actually be an indication that the weather in fact isn't that bad.

Cockroach eating promotion

Six Flags theme parks are having cockroach eating contests in celebration of Halloween. According to this story from Reuters, the deal is if you eat a "live Madagascar hissing cockroach," (Wow. Hissing.) you can get in free or even jump ahead of lines. Of course PETA is flipping out -- "Insects do not deserve to be eaten alive especially for a gratuitous marketing gimmick." Especially for marketing.

According to Reuters, though, "the only complaints [Six Flags] received were from people who did not have the opportunity to sign up and eat a cockroach because only 12 of its 30 parks in the United States, Canada, and Mexico were participating in the promotion." OK stop right there. Can you imagine calling a theme park and complaining that the park near your home doesn't offer a cockroach eating contest?

In case you're wondering, by the way, a Madagascar hissing cockroach is a "large, wingless cockroach[] that can grow to between 1.5 to 3 inches." Six Flags says "the cockroaches were raised in a sterile environment and were as safe to eat as shrimp or lobster with high nutritional value."

Happy Ramadan Part 2

If you listened to the first post below, you had to see this coming. It's the dance mix version. Very funny. Listen to the first post before listening to this one.

Thanks to Will for keeping his eyes peeled. The rest of you are also encouraged to send along important news items such as this.

http://webfiles.berkeley.edu/elnachef/public_html/TheNicePodkhaledyounis.mp3

Happy Ramadan

I recieved this from an alert reader, in celebration of Ramadan. Thought I should share it with all of you.

https://webfiles.berkeley.edu/elnachef/public_html/Sound1.mp3

Tigers Mania

Last night was the first time playoff baseball has been played in Detroit since I was 13 years old. More than 43,000 fans showed up to see the first playoff game ever played at Comerica Park. I remember times when there couldn't have been more than a few hundred of us poor souls suffering through another humiliating loss at Tiger Satdium. (Hint: don't try to start the wave when entire sections of a huge stadium are completely empty).

Of course we couldn't get tickets last night. But Naj and I stopped at Buffalo Wild Wings (a huge, gaudy suburban sports bar with about a million giant TV screens) after we hit the mall for a few hours. What we saw was awesome. First, the place was packed and very loud; people watching baseball on TV at a bar and cheering even strikeouts. Hadn't seen anything like that before.

We saw a 41-year-old guy named Kenny Rogers pitch one of the best games I have seen pitched in a very long time. He threw pitch after pitch of simply unhittable balls and brought an intensity you seldom see in sports. It was a masterpiece. And we listened to 88-year-old legendary Tigers broadcaster Ernie Harwell, long ago retired and a personal hero of mine, call an inning on ESPN as the amateurs sat back and watched.

You have to understand. I'm a sports fan, sure. I love Michigan (currently undefeated), the Pistons, Red Wings, etc. But the Tigers are different. Maybe that's because baseball is different. I'm not sure I can really explain it. Many of you reading this are nodding right now. For those who aren't, you really have to see it first hand to understand.

For me, last night was the feeling I've been waiting a very long time for. I hope the Tigers go on to finish the Yankees off later today, but if they don't I have to say last night was worth it. For a few moments, at a bar in Novi, my Tigers were playing baseball in October, Detroit was rocking and Kenny Rogers owned the New York Yankees. I won't soon forget it.

The Ann Arbor OutFest has a Beer Tent

I guess I didn't know gay people were in to beer. The Ann Arbor News covers the OutFest, held (you guessed it) on the site of the Ann Arbor Farmer's Market.

"Music, speakers, theater, dancing, a beer tent and a silent auction were all part of the 11th annual OutFest celebration Saturday evening for Washtenaw County's lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community.

Most festival activities took place at the Farmer's Market, where for at least part of the evening people had to take cover under the market canopy to avoid the on-and-off rain.

The dominant theme for many who attended was the opportunity to be open and unafraid of their sexual identity."

Perhaps the biggest news of the day was that one Christine Cook, who we are told just moved to Michigan, "had recently seen an antigay bumper sticker." Shock! Ms. Cook wants us to know, though, that gay people are "just like everybody else."

OK. And by the way, don't forget to get your tickets for the theater presentation of "'Vampire Lesbians of Sodom' at the Kerrytown Concert House as part of the festival."

Anybody wanna see Ecuador pictures?

If you see my wife, or talk to her, remind her that she is supposed to send me pictures of her trip to Ecuador so I can post them to the blog.

A.L. Central Standings

Here is the last post of the year regarding the Tigers regular season penant race. They lost today, the last game of the regular season, and with that loss they lost the division title to Minnesota. The playoffs begin Tuesday at Yankee Stadium in New York.

Minnesota................................... --
Detroit ..........................................1
Chicago .........................................6
Cleveland ......................................18
Kansas City ...................................34